I overheard a conversation between my fifth grade son and his little friend who happens to have a big crush on him! She asked Matthew, "Why are you always running away from me?" And Matthew replied quite simply "because you are always chasing me."
The message here is that when you are too available, it can be as annoying to a 10 year old as it can be to a 40 year old. Quite simply don't give up your interests, friends and hobbies because you might have an opportunity for a date with someone you are waiting to hear from. If they call and you are truly unavailable, they will call again if they are really interested. So don't wait around! Enjoy being you and that someone will only learn they may need to call and make plans a little sooner.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Saturday, September 27, 2008
I hope you can't relate to this story at all!
There is a 14 year old girl and a 41 year old woman who run quite parallel. Let's start with the 14 year old. My girl friend shared this story regarding her 14 year old son. The phone kept ringing and it was his "girl friend". Whatever that really means at age 14. Ian had a friend over and was getting annoyed by the phone ringing. The mom (Mary) new this was a girl calling. Ian was like "let's get out of here". He and his buddy left to ride their skateboards around the neighborhood. Not another thought about Margo, the "girl friend". Meanwhile back in the house that phone didn't stop ringing. Mary would look out the window at Ian who was not even thinking about Margo. Then she would look at the caller id... Margo. After about an hour and 5 separate calls that were sent to the answering machine she couldn't help but pick it up. Ian never did call her back and never really wanted to hang out with her again.
I got a call from a dear friend named Jill a few weeks ago. She said Bob wasn't taking her out as expected. She was very upset. She said "I keep trying to call him and he won't pick up the phone". They'd been dating about 4 weeks. She went on to tell me she waited all week for this date and tried so hard to occupy herself with her 3 kids and work, but couldn't really think about anything but the date. She was upset when he cancelled (something to do with his child being sick). They had an argument and she continually tried to call him back. He never did pick up and she hasn't heard from him since.
Jill, Margo or anyone else that can relate to this story... Take a good close look at yourself and please try to focus on life outside a guy. The most appealing women are those that truly have a life outside of what the guy is doing next. Margo is only 14. Ladies if you have teen age daughters, don't let them be Margo. Stop and smell the roses... Look at your precious children and cherish every minute of them. Feel pride in your work. Go to dinner with a girlfriend, buy a good book. I know this can be easier said than done for some but we all have the power to change how we think and what we believe. Stop convincing yourself a guy is important! And start believing you are important. Once you can change this pattern you will be surprised how much more desirable you will become to men.
And I don't mean you should not get excited about a new relationship. When you are in a healthy, mutual relationship that feels great, you should enjoy every minute of it and look forward to the next date. Just don't stop being "you" in the meantime!
I got a call from a dear friend named Jill a few weeks ago. She said Bob wasn't taking her out as expected. She was very upset. She said "I keep trying to call him and he won't pick up the phone". They'd been dating about 4 weeks. She went on to tell me she waited all week for this date and tried so hard to occupy herself with her 3 kids and work, but couldn't really think about anything but the date. She was upset when he cancelled (something to do with his child being sick). They had an argument and she continually tried to call him back. He never did pick up and she hasn't heard from him since.
Jill, Margo or anyone else that can relate to this story... Take a good close look at yourself and please try to focus on life outside a guy. The most appealing women are those that truly have a life outside of what the guy is doing next. Margo is only 14. Ladies if you have teen age daughters, don't let them be Margo. Stop and smell the roses... Look at your precious children and cherish every minute of them. Feel pride in your work. Go to dinner with a girlfriend, buy a good book. I know this can be easier said than done for some but we all have the power to change how we think and what we believe. Stop convincing yourself a guy is important! And start believing you are important. Once you can change this pattern you will be surprised how much more desirable you will become to men.
And I don't mean you should not get excited about a new relationship. When you are in a healthy, mutual relationship that feels great, you should enjoy every minute of it and look forward to the next date. Just don't stop being "you" in the meantime!
Friday, August 15, 2008
what do girls really want
It comes down to one word guys...
CONFIDENCE! But don't get mixed up here guys. Confidence does not mean arrogant, conceited and obnoxious. Those attributes actually describe one with a rather low level of self confidence. What we really mean is that you like yourself. Not stare at myself in mirror and flex my muscles confidence. But simply you feel good enough about who you are. We can sense this in 5 minutes. Actually it might only take 5 seconds.
I have hosted hundreds of speed dating events and I can assure you it is not the hottest guy in the room that gets the most matches. OK who am I kidding, sure sometimes they do just fine. But across the board... the average guy or what one might call "the boy next door type" can pull many matches if he has the one magic trait!
We don't want someone that doesn't look us in the eye, or one that doesn't have a smile on his face when he enters the room. We want a guy to be able to start a conversation without worrying about whether or not we are going to pick them.
Sure there are many girls who we call "gold diggers" or the girl who only dates a guy that looks like he walked off a calendar. But the truth is, if you are not a rich, calendar model, than that is not the kind of woman you want to date anyways. How many times have you seen a beautiful girl with an average Joe? And you were probably thinking, "damn how did a guy like that pull a chick like her?"
Well I think I know the answer to that... He has the confidence.
CONFIDENCE! But don't get mixed up here guys. Confidence does not mean arrogant, conceited and obnoxious. Those attributes actually describe one with a rather low level of self confidence. What we really mean is that you like yourself. Not stare at myself in mirror and flex my muscles confidence. But simply you feel good enough about who you are. We can sense this in 5 minutes. Actually it might only take 5 seconds.
I have hosted hundreds of speed dating events and I can assure you it is not the hottest guy in the room that gets the most matches. OK who am I kidding, sure sometimes they do just fine. But across the board... the average guy or what one might call "the boy next door type" can pull many matches if he has the one magic trait!
We don't want someone that doesn't look us in the eye, or one that doesn't have a smile on his face when he enters the room. We want a guy to be able to start a conversation without worrying about whether or not we are going to pick them.
Sure there are many girls who we call "gold diggers" or the girl who only dates a guy that looks like he walked off a calendar. But the truth is, if you are not a rich, calendar model, than that is not the kind of woman you want to date anyways. How many times have you seen a beautiful girl with an average Joe? And you were probably thinking, "damn how did a guy like that pull a chick like her?"
Well I think I know the answer to that... He has the confidence.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Why the heck are you still single?
I remember being single, actually I was divorced and had a 1 year old little boy with me. I used to roam the mall and envy those with wedding rings on. I would watch couples interacting in a nonchalant manner and think “why can’t that be me?” I found a great group of people that would share in my “why can’t that be me” mentality. It didn’t get me out of the funk, but it sure validated me.
Then I woke up… Validation was not what I want!! Enough of these bitch sessions with girlfriends. They were great at convincing me that every happy couple roaming the mall was really miserable at home. That all the husbands left their dirty socks around the house and came home from work cranky. But was that what I really wanted to hear about?
No I wanted the white picket fence. And one day I woke up and decided I was going to get this for myself!! It has been almost 8 years since my divorce. My son is almost 9 years old! And guess what?? I got it all now. Found my husband on match.com and have a baby napping in the next room. And I don’t mind the dirty sock one bit! Sure match.com was a great tool and I do recommend it. But it was a state of mind, a change in belief and attitude. A simple epiphany!
I can help you find that epiphany! Whether it is a belief holding you back or simply some trait you have that is driving your potential relationships away. Let’s hear your story. But please know that if you want to chat with me, I will be brutally honest with you. No validation like you can get from your girlfriends.
Then I woke up… Validation was not what I want!! Enough of these bitch sessions with girlfriends. They were great at convincing me that every happy couple roaming the mall was really miserable at home. That all the husbands left their dirty socks around the house and came home from work cranky. But was that what I really wanted to hear about?
No I wanted the white picket fence. And one day I woke up and decided I was going to get this for myself!! It has been almost 8 years since my divorce. My son is almost 9 years old! And guess what?? I got it all now. Found my husband on match.com and have a baby napping in the next room. And I don’t mind the dirty sock one bit! Sure match.com was a great tool and I do recommend it. But it was a state of mind, a change in belief and attitude. A simple epiphany!
I can help you find that epiphany! Whether it is a belief holding you back or simply some trait you have that is driving your potential relationships away. Let’s hear your story. But please know that if you want to chat with me, I will be brutally honest with you. No validation like you can get from your girlfriends.
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